Messed-Up Families

Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age. Also he made him a tunic of many colors. But when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peaceably to him. (Genesis 37:3-4)

The story of Joseph begins with a description of his messed-up, dysfunctional family. Jacob (Israel) was father over a troubled household, with much rivalry and competition. Jacob made it worse by having a clear favorite – Joseph, who was the son of his old age.

We all have ideas and dreams about what a perfect family should be. By anyone’s measure, Joseph’s family had a lot of problems.

As a young man, his father Jacob tried to trick his grandfather Isaac into giving him the family fortune instead of his older twin brother. The plan fell apart, and Joseph’s father Jacob had to run for his life when his twin brother vowed to murder him.

Jacob went away, more than 200 miles (320 km) on foot. He did not see his father Isaac for more than twenty years, only meeting again when Isaac was almost dead. There is no record that Jacob ever saw his mother again.

Among his mother’s relatives, Jacob’s uncle cheated him and treated him like a slave. Jacob married two of his cousins and took two more concubines (something like formally recognized mistresses).

Between them all, they had twelve sons and one daughter. There was constant rivalry and conflict among all many children and the four mothers, centering on the rivalry between the sisters Rachel and Leah.

It was one great big messed-up family; still, it brought forth Joseph, and furthered God’s great plan of the ages.

It can be helpful to remember that as a man, Jesus Himself came from difficult family circumstances. By God’s miracle, His mom became pregnant well before the wedding.

His mom and dad were quickly married, far ahead of their announced wedding date. When Jesus was just a young child, they had to escape as refugees, fleeing for their lives.

They made a home back in Nazareth, where everyone knew about the strange pregnancy and the hurried wedding. Jesus Himself never got married – regarded as unusual and maybe even scandalous for a 30-year-old rabbi.

We don’t know what happened to His adoptive father Joseph, and His mother Mary seemed a little pushy. His own brothers didn’t believe in Him and called Him crazy. Jesus said that being in God’s family was more important to Him than His biological family. Jesus put His mom into the care of one of His disciples, not one of His brothers.

God’s word to everyone is this: Your messed-up family – past, present, or future – does not mean God has forsaken you or that some cloud has come over you that will never pass. We may trust that God works in and through difficult and messed-up families. Don’t lose hope!