I’ve Lost Respect For My Pastor – What Should I Do?
Q: I’ve recently lost some respect for my pastor, for a couple of reasons too wordy to list here, I’m having a hard time listening to his sermons as a result. Any advice?
A: You bring up something that is very significant and perhaps complicated. It’s hard for me to assess the legitimacy of the reasons for your loss of respect for your pastor. I definitely think it’s possible for a pastor to do things which deservedly lessen the amount of respect he has in the eyes of his congregation. But I also know that there are faithful pastors who are unfairly or excessively criticized. In other words, something might deserve a little bit of criticism, but it becomes a mountain of criticism, and the pastor is excessively criticized. That is a strategy of Satan.
There is a quote from John Calvin which I’ve cited in my commentary on 1 Timothy:
- In his commentary on 1 Timothy, John Calvin explained some reasons why people are so quick to receive an accusation against a pastor when perhaps they should not: “The more sincerely any pastor strives to further Christ’s kingdom, the more he is loaded with spite, the more fierce do the attacks upon him become. And not only so, but as soon as any charge is made against ministers of the Word, it is believed as surely and firmly as if it had been already proved. This happens not only because a higher standard of integrity is required from them, but because Satan makes most people, in fact nearly everyone, over credulous so that without investigation, they eagerly condemn their pastors whose good name they ought to be defending.”
- Calvin pointed out there is a spiritual attack in all of this: “It is indeed a trick of Satan to estrange men from their ministers so as gradually to bring their teaching into contempt. In this way not only is wrong done to innocent people whose reputation is undeservedly injured, but the authority of God’s holy teaching is diminished.”
To summarize Calvin’s point in a paraphrase, “Why is it that faithful ministers are often attacked and criticized and slandered, and nobody helps them? Oftentimes, it’s a strategy of Satan, because Satan thinks, ‘If I can’t get that guy to stop preaching the Word, then I’m going to get people to stop listening to him.’ Behind the scenes, Satan will try to discredit a pastor by accusations and exaggerations, more often than by outright lies.’”
Let’s say that your reasons for losing some respect for your pastor are legitimate. For all I know, they are. I think you really need to make this a prayer before the Lord, “Lord, I don’t respect my pastor as much as I used to, but I still respect him, and I still need the word of God from that man. Would you please put my heart in the right place to receive the Word of God from that man’s ministry?” That’s a valid, deep, sincere prayer to make, and that’s the kind of prayer that you might even want to back up with some fasting.
Now, what if the reasons for your criticisms of your pastor are illegitimate? Let’s be honest: if they are, we rarely perceive that right away. But if you come to see later that maybe you were too harsh or excessive in your criticism, then bring it before the Lord and ask God to restore that respect. Ultimately, you need to receive the Word of God either way, whether your loss of respect is legitimate in some way, or if it’s not legitimate. This is tough challenge. Do your best to be aware of the spiritual dynamic behind it.