How Do I Get Along With “Strange” Christians?
Q: How do I get along with strange Christians?
A: I’ll share four principles. Principle number one: Just like there are strange parts of the human body, there are strange Christians. A lot of people consider themselves be kind of cool or “with it”, but you know what? Not everyone is like that in the family of God. There are going to be people in God’s family who are something of an embarrassment to you. Remember what Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 12.
1 Corinthians 12:20-25 – But now indeed there are many members, yet one body. And the eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you”; nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” No, much rather, those members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary. And those members of the body which we think to be less honorable, on these we bestow greater honor; and our unpresentable parts have greater modesty, but our presentable parts have no need. But God composed the body, having given greater honor to that part which lacks it, that there should be no schism in the body, but that the members should have the same care for one another.
Paul uses the analogy of the body to explain that there are parts of our body that are weird or unpresentable or strange. Sometimes we bestow even greater honor by covering up those parts of the body. In other words, the phenomenon of strange Christians is not a bug, it’s a feature. I think God designs it that way in His family.
Principle number two: Strange Christians are still family. Now, I’m not talking about the difference between true believers and false believers; let’s put that off to the side. For the sake of this argument, let’s consider that they are all believers. Here’s the bottom line: they are still part of the family of God. The lines for belonging to God’s family are not theological precision. Now, I didn’t say there’s nothing theological involved. You have to believe that Jesus Christ is Lord, that Jesus is the Son of God, and other essential doctrines to be a believer. There’s a bare minimum involved, but it does not require theological sophistication. It does not require a person to look cool or acceptable. There are strange, weird people who are probably part of your literal family: aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews, nieces, etc. There are probably people in your extended family who are weird and strange, yet they are still family.
Principle number three: You probably seem like a strange Christian to some other believers. I accept that. I can say that there are some strange Christians around but there are likely some believers who find me to be the strange one, just because we’re different. We are a body. I can accept that in some contexts, I might be the strange one in their eyes, and that’s okay. Just realize that you don’t have some kind of monopoly on “cool” or “unacceptable” believers.
Principle number four: Be careful of the temptation to denounce and distance yourself from people because of aesthetics, that is, their outward appearance. To define is more important than to denounce or to distance. If there are people with whom you have doctrinal or methodological differences, that’s fine. Define those differences. But be careful about denouncing or distancing yourself. I hope my attitude is generally right in saying, maybe not directly to them but at least on the inside, “You’re my strange brother or sister. In Christ, you’re part of my family. Maybe you regard me as strange. Let’s all just serve the Lord as He gives us to do.” There may be matters in which I define how I’m different from you in what I believe or how I state it. That’s fine, but I don’t want to do it from a smug or self-superior kind of attitude.
An important governing principle for my life and yours is a passage that’s repeated three times in the Bible, in Proverbs, 1 Peter, and James: God resists the proud, but He gives grace to the humble. (see Proverbs 3:34, James 4:6, 1 Peter 5:5). We need to guard ourselves from the pride of thinking that we’re so cool, we’re so awesome, we’re so spectacular, unlike “those weirdos out there.” We can want everybody to know we’re nothing like those different from us, and try to distance ourselves as much as possible, or maybe even denounce them.
Defining our differences is fine. There are people with whom I would not mind defining my differences at all. But unless I see rank heresy, I’m not going to denounce them. They are my strange brother and sister, and I am their strange brother and sister in Christ.