Why Do Some Prayers Seem Unanswered? LIVE Q&A for February 27, 2025

Why Do Some Prayers Seem Unanswered?

A question from Amanda:

Hello Pastor, I love your commentary, and I use the app daily for my devotionals. I’ve been struggling with something lately. I know the Bible encourages us to pray, but sometimes it feels like my prayers go unanswered. I’ve prayed for healing, for guidance, and for clarity, but I don’t always see the results I expect. Why does it seem like some prayers are answered and others are not? Is there something I’m missing, or is God’s response to prayer different than what we think?

I think Amanda is right – unanswered prayer is something that should concern us. It concerned the Apostle Paul when his prayer in 2 Corinthians 12:7-9 – where he prayed regarding his thorn in the flesh, and he prayed three times before he had some kind of answer from God.

Two Cautions

First, we understand that prayer is more than asking for things. In this teaching I will focus on prayer as asking, but please understand that I’m dealing with just one aspect of prayer.

Second, we must understand what we mean and what we don’t mean by unanswered prayer. We don’t mean, “When God doesn’t do everything that I want Him to do.”

If we will get sore and offended at God because our prayer is not answered “yes,” then it shows we misunderstand a fundamental about prayer: that prayer is not about getting my will done, but God’s will done. Sometimes we have a correct idea about what God’s will is in a situation, and sometimes we don’t.

God is not like a vending machine, where if we put in the right things (such as prayers or faith), then we get what WE wanted.

It is better to understand that “yes,” “no,” and “wait” are answers to prayer.

• A yes answer – God says, “yes” to your prayer
• A no answer – God says, “no” to your prayer
• A wait answer – God says, “wait” to your prayer

Each of these is different from unanswered prayer. Paul’s received a “no” answer to his prayer in 2 Corinthians 12:8. His prayer was answered after deeper seeking.

So when I talk about the danger of unanswered prayer, don’t mean God saying “yes” to every prayer. If we demand ouranswer to prayers we pray, there is something fundamentally not submitted to God in our thinking or attitude.

“No” or “wait” answers are fine, and when it is in our best for God to say “no” or “wait” to us, then we want God to say it.

Our problem isn’t “no” or “wait” answers, but unanswered prayer – prayer that has no “yes,” no “no,” or no “wait.”

Reasons for Unanswered Prayer

The Bible gives a surprising number of reasons for unanswered prayer. These obstacles can be put out of the way as we walk in the Lord and diligently pursue Him.

·Not abiding in Jesus (John 15:7)

If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you.

·Unbelief (Matthew 17:20-21)

So Jesus said to them, “Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. However, this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting.”

·Lack of Bible Reading and Bible Teaching (Proverbs 28:9)

One who turns away his ear from hearing the law,
Even his prayer is an abomination.

·Trusting in the Length or Form of Prayer (Matthew 6:7)

And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words.

·A Bad Marriage Relationship (1 Peter 3:7)

Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

·Not Asking (James 4:2)

You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask.

·Selfish Praying (James 4:3)

You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.

• Disobedience (1 John 3:22)
• Not Praying in God’s Will (1 John 5:14-15)
• Failure to Fast (Matthew 17:21)
• Unconfessed Sin (James 5:16)
• Cold, Passionless Prayer (James 5:16-18)
• Prayerlessness and Lack of Persistence in Prayer (Luke 18:1-7, Psalm 55:17)
• Sin Against Others (Matthew 5:23-24)
• Lack of Unity (Matthew 18:19)
• Not Listening to God (Psalm 32:8, Jeremiah 7:16, Jeremiah 11:14)
• Not Praying in the Name of Jesus (John 14:13-14)
• Pride (James 4:6, 1 Peter 5:5, Proverbs 3:34, 2 Chronicles 7:14, 2 Chronicles 33:12-13)
• Lying and Deceitfulness (Psalm 17:1)

What Do We Do About This?

• Take heed to the danger signals
• Getting a bigger vision for what your prayer life can be
• Refuse to make excuses
• Confess your sin
• Walk forward, confident in Jesus

In prayer, how do we reconcile faith with God’s will? How can we know whether our faith (that God will achieve a certain result) is in opposition to God’s ultimate will?

In prayer, how do we reconcile faith with God’s will? When are we meant to distinguish that our faith (that God will achieve a certain result) is in opposition to God’s ultimate will?

I don’t know if this is sufficient answer for you, but it’s the one that makes sense to me. We do the best we can. So, how do we know God’s will? First, we know God’s will in and through His Word. The more of God’s word that we know, the more we should be able to understand and appreciate and explain God’s will in our lives and in the world that we see around us. When we have an understanding of God’s will, especially one that is very deeply rooted in His Word, we can pray according to God’s will as it is revealed in the whole counsel of God. By knowing God’s word and understanding His ways, we gain an appreciation of what His will is.

Now, is that going to be a perfect appreciation? No. Take Paul’s example of his struggle with the thorn in the flesh, as described in 2 Corinthians 12. When he first suffered from the thorn in the flesh, he just assumed that God would want to take it away. It’s possible that Paul may have dealt with similar things earlier in his life and God had taken them away, and that was great. In the case of the thorn in his flesh, he prayed, “Lord, I have this affliction, this thorn in the flesh. I perceive that You want to take it away. But as he sought the Lord, God informed him, “No, Paul, I’m not going to take it away. I’m going to give you the strength to bear up under it. My grace will be sufficient for you, for my strength is perfected in weakness.” All Paul could do was discern the will of God as well as he could and be guided along the way. Apart from clear revelation in the Scripture, we should not be presumptuous and especially not arrogant about our understanding of God’s will.

As we pray for guidance on big life decisions, how can we better submit to God’s will, especially when we have a strong desire for a particular answer?

I can tell you how I’ve done this in my own life. I’ve told God, “Lord, as far as I can see, this is the answer I want. This is the direction I want to go. This is what I ask You to do. But Lord, I understand that You see things that I don’t see. You know things that I don’t know. If this isn’t Your will, if this isn’t Your plan, then Lord, I’m fine with that. Guide me into it. But I want you to know, Lord, that as far as I can perceive, this is the one that I want.”

I think we can be honest and very transparent before God. Friends, don’t be afraid to be honest before God. Just say, “Lord, this is what I really want.” You’ll need to realize that you are a finite human being. You don’t know everything God knows. You don’t see everything God sees. There may be factors that you are completely blind to which make the thing you want actually terrible for you. Okay, fine. But God doesn’t expect us to act as if we know all things as He does. He expects us to act with whatever knowledge and wisdom is available to us. We step forward and pray and act according to that. Be honest with the Lord about it, and then leave it in the Lord’s hands. That is, of course, an aspect of our faith in Him.

What are some examples of answers to prayer that are “no,” “yes,” and “wait”?

What are some examples of answers to prayer that are “no,” “yes,” and “wait”? I struggle to identify answers to prayer, especially when praying for guidance and His will regarding a decision for me and my family.

I think back to the pages of the Old Testament, where the High Priest had these stones called the Urim and the Thummim. They were stones put in a pouch, and then the pouch was placed in the High Priest’s breastplate. When they wanted an answer from God, they would reach into the pouch. One stone was maybe white, the other stone was maybe black; the white answer would be yes, the black answer would be no. The high priest would reach into his breastplate, pull a stone out of the pouch, and it would be the yes or no answer from God. Now, we don’t know exactly if that’s how the Urim and Thummim worked, but it’s possible. Wouldn’t we love something like that?

We don’t have that same kind of material certainty, but we can judge what the will of God is, whether it’s yes or no, through circumstances sometimes. I’ll give a crazy example. “Lord, do you want me to buy that car? Maybe I should buy that car.” And then that particular car that I wanted to buy gets involved in a terrible accident and is unavailable purchase. “Okay, Lord, that’s a no. I get it.” You can think of circumstances like that.

But there are other ways in which God can tell us “No” that are more subtle or simply communicating through an interior impression. Friends, I think we need to be careful about saying that God speaks to us. I absolutely do believe that God communicates with us. First and foremost, He primarily speaks to us through His word. But I think that the Holy Spirit also communicates with the believer. You could say that such communication is a way of speaking. But sometimes Christians are almost flippant about saying things like, “God told me this” or “God told me that.” They’re not only giving people an elitist attitude about God, that He speaks to some people, but doesn’t speak to other people, but also insinuating that they’re hearing an audible voice. Rarely would somebody claim that’s the case though.

Nevertheless, there is such a thing as having an inner sense that this is what God wants me to do, that God is saying yes, or God is saying no. Sometimes it’s proved evident through circumstances, and other times through the inner influence of the Holy Spirit in the life of the believer. Neither of those approaches are infallible, but we do the best we can.

It’s very important when we are faced with decisions to weigh things thoughtfully and prayerfully in the light of God’s word, and having done so, we do the best we can. We shouldn’t fear that God is waiting to punish us because we made the wrong choice. I think that’s wrong and a harmful way to think of God and how He works.

​​​​Do you think we need to read the early church fathers to interpret the Bible correctly?

If you want to say need in an absolute sense, I would say that, no, we don’t need the early church fathers to interpret the Bible correctly. Do they help? Are they good to read? Is it helpful to hear what the fathers said? Yes, it is. I’m not down on people studying the early church fathers.

Our brothers and sisters among the Roman Catholics and among the Eastern Orthodox can act as if everything in the early church fathers speaks with one voice, supporting whatever position they may have. It makes you wonder how much they’ve read of the early church fathers. Are there important things that we can learn and gain from them? Yes, we can, but I don’t think it’s a necessity to hear what those early interpreters of the Bible said, and to go along with whatever interpretation they had. To do so would be to deny the eternal character of God’s Word.

We believe that the Bible was written for its original audience, but by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, it is God’s living and breathing and active word that endures forever. The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of the Lord stands forever. Because of that, God’s word has a way of speaking across the generations. It has a way of speaking beyond its original audience, or the few generations after the original audience. It speaks to us today. Is it good and helpful to understand what different Bible interpreters have said throughout the centuries? Yes, it is. It’s helpful. It’s good, but the important interpretive key is the text itself, which is in large measure accessible to believers in all generations. Are the church fathers helpful? Yes. Absolutely necessary? No.

According to Scripture, what is your take on the doctrine of eternal security? Can a believer fall away by choice or not?

I’m going to give an unsatisfying answer: By all appearance, yes. Let me explain what I mean. I believe that the believer is secure in Jesus Christ. I have a very hard time understanding how the things that are imparted to a believer are undone in their life. I don’t know how you are born again and then unborn again. I don’t know how you’re adopted and then disowned from the family of God, or how you’re made a king and a priest and then unmade a king and a priest. I can argue it from that angle.

But I will say that from all appearance, those whom we look at, maybe even including ourselves, who appear to be believers, may end up not making it to the end. I’m not saying this only to our Reformed brothers and sisters, but I see it more in them. They delight in theological abstractions, but they don’t recognize them as theological abstractions. I’m not against theological abstractions; there’s a part of me that loves them. But they can be overemphasized to great harm.

If a person overemphasizes the idea of eternal security, then they take away the idea repeated throughout the New Testament of a genuine warning to people to not fall away. If somebody takes the idea of eternal security in an extreme way, then they’re essentially saying, “God warns you against falling away, but it can never happen.”

No, that’s not how God wants us to receive His word. He doesn’t say, “Oh, here’s a warning, but you know, it’ll never happen. Don’t worry about it.” No, you’re emphasizing a theological abstraction, which may be true in its place. We must also recognize and appreciate that there’s a place in the Christian life where God doesn’t want you to focus on that theological abstraction, but to say to yourself, “I need to make sure I don’t fall away, and that I continue on in the faith.” The same principle is true regarding regeneration coming before faith. That is not how God wants us to preach to people.