What Should I Do When I Don’t Feel Like I’ve Been Made New?
Q: How can I understand that I am made new and a child of God when I don’t feel new, even while trying to live rightly?
A: What a great question. First of all, I think that if every Christian who’s walked with the Lord for more than six months would be honest, they would ask the same question. Because feelings come and go. Now, we shouldn’t be anti-feelings. I’m all for good feelings. Praise the Lord for good feelings. Feelings are an awesome thing, and a gift from God. But when we’re feeling good, and feeling the sense of the presence of the Lord, and feeling that we’re His child – like the great refrain from the Song of Solomon says, “I am my Beloved’s, and He is mine” – we experience the sense of a wonderful relationship between us and the Lord. It’s like everything’s great.
But let’s face it, there is great fruit to be born in the valleys of our life. During the low times, God wants to do great things in our life. If a child is ever going to learn how to walk, the parent has to let go of their hand. The child suddenly feels unstable, and maybe a bit anxious, thinking, “If my dad loved me, why wouldn’t he be holding my hand right now? Why didn’t he be keeping me more stable?” But the father has a good, proper, and loving purpose in allowing a relatively temporary state of instability for the child: for them to enjoy a much greater stability and freedom than they have ever known before.
That is what it’s like for us in times when we’re called to trust in God, to obey Him, and to do what’s right in His eyes, even when we don’t feel it. That’s a great time for us to just do exactly what we’re supposed to do in the Christian life. So really, you are just in the right place in your own relationship with the Lord. Don’t doubt that. Take a lot of rest and peace from that. God has a good purpose in times when He allows us to feel a little more distant.
One more thing. It’s not wrong for you to prayer that to pray that great prayer from Psalm 139:23-24 – Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. It’s perfectly proper and appropriate when we feel a sense that maybe we’re not as close to the Lord as we once were, to say, “Lord, if there’s anything in my life hindering that closeness, would You please show me?” It is possible to do that in a morbidly introspective way, and I hope we’re going to avoid that. But we can just pray, “God, if there’s something You’re trying to call my attention to, I pray that I’d see it. I’d pray that You’d show me,” and God will be good to do that.