Is Shame from the Lord or the Enemy?
Q: Even though I have been saved since 16, I have done so many things [including sexual immorality] … The Lord in 2023 gave me the dose of harsh reality that I was willingly disobeying and disrespectful to Him. God literally took that desire away and now I am praying every day to be in obedience.
I did everything wrong with my former marriage and my children. My question is, is it the enemy in my head trying to get me to keep the shame and feeling like I am not forgiven? I know the Lord has forgiven me and I am so thankful that He didn’t give up on me even though I deserved it. Just need some feedback. Thank you.
Once the believer confesses and repents of their sin (even if it isn’t a perfect confession and repentance), then any ongoing sense of shame or feeling of not being forgiven is really from the world, the flesh, or the devil.
Here’s the verse I rely on all time, the recommend you memorize and meditate on:
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
This is a rock-solid promise from God! If God were not to forgive the confessing, repentant believer, then someone could call into question God’s faithfulness or justice. But those are two things that can never be called into question. God is always faithful and just to forgive us when we confess our sins to Him.
Now, this doesn’t necessarily take away a sense of regret over our past sin. From the way you describe it, it sounds like in some way or another you live with the effects of you past sin. It’s OK to regret that, but this is different from a sense of shame.
Shame can be good and have a God-appointed purpose – that purpose being, to drive us to Jesus to confess and repent of our sin. There are many people who should be ashamed of things, and they are not ashamed of them!
Yet there is a bad kind of shame – I think some people have called it “toxic shame” – that is a tool of the world, the flesh, and the devil to make the believer live with a sense of defeat and shame when it just isn’t right to do so.
- The world wants you to be ashamed to be a Christian.
- The flesh often wants to hang on the guilt of sins already forgiven.
- The devil is the accuser of the brethren, accusing God’s people day and night (Revelation 12:10).
Don’t answer the attack of toxic shame by arguing that you really aren’t that bad. Instead, answer it by saying that no matter how bad you may be, Jesus Christ is an even greater Savior.
Our ultimate trust isn’t in our goodness, but in His greatness – and the greatness of what He did on the cross to cleanse the sins of all who put their trust in Him.