Does True Forgiveness Require A Restored Relationship?

Some believe that forgiving someone means a restored relationship. Is keeping someone in your life after forgiving them necessary to constitute true forgiveness?

No, keeping someone in your life after forgiving them is not always necessary to constitute true forgiveness. If a person is a danger to you or to your family and it’s just a bad relationship, you can forgive them without being reconciled to them in relationship. In my mind those are two different things. It is possible to say, “I forgive you. I don’t hold anything against you in my heart, but you haven’t demonstrated to me that you are a safe person for me or for my family, so I can’t put you in that relationship of trust again.” I think that’s possible to do.

The problem is when there are people who do this unjustly. In other words, they imagine a great present danger, but it’s not there in reality. If that’s the case, it’s something that person really needs to get right before God. If there’s a genuine present danger, then yes, I think that reconciliation should be kept at arm’s length until that is no longer the case. But if the concern is over problems in the past or an imagined present danger, not a real one, then I think it is something for the person to address.