Should A Believer Marry A Nonbeliever?
My son is talking about getting engaged. His girlfriend is into New Age; she pretended to be saved for a short time. Do I give advice to him or them on being equally yoked, and if so, how? (He is having a hard time remaining celibate)
2 Corinthians 6:14 – Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?
In context, this passage about being unequally yoked is not specifically addressing marriage and a marriage partner. It’s talking about partnership with unbelievers in a broad way. But it certainly has application to marriage, because there’s no closer personal partnership than being married. That’s the ultimate partnership. So, even though this command to not be unequally yoked is not specifically about marriage, it certainly applies to it.
I can say this: your son is going to have difficulty if he marries an unbeliever. I say that carefully, because people who are not yet Christians are by no means automatically horrible, immoral people and unfit companions in a marriage. That’s not true. I would also say that not everybody who makes a valid profession of faith in Jesus Christ is automatically marriage material. We should not oversimplify it to say that every unbeliever is bad, and every believer is good when it comes to a fit marriage partner.
However, if you are a believer in Jesus Christ, and you are born again by God’s Spirit, the focus of your life will be to follow Jesus Christ and give glory to Him. That’s what life should be about for a believer. In Matthew 16:24, Jesus said, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow Me.” That’s what it is to be a Christian.
By marrying somebody who does not share that same central focus and purpose of life, you have two people living for different purposes, and there can’t help but be some conflict with that. I’m not trying to say that anybody who marries an unbeliever is automatically going to have a wretched, horrible life, but there will be trouble, and probably unexpected trouble and difficulty, that you’re bringing into your life.
I would also warn about a false profession of faith. Many years ago, a man whom we knew was interested in a woman romantically, and she was interested in him. He was a believer, and she was not, but she knew that he would not marry her unless she was a believer. So, one day, she told him, “I’m a Christian now. I put my trust in Christ,” and she went to church a few times. They got married. But almost as soon as they got married, she just turned her back on Jesus. It was clearly a false, superficial thing done simply to get the guy to marry her. This man ended up having a lot of trouble in that marriage. To marry an unbeliever is to walk down a path that is not wise.