Am I Turning The Other Cheek Or Being A Doormat?
Can you please help me understand the difference between being walked all over and turning the other cheek?
Nobody enjoys the feeling of being walked all over and being bossed around. It makes us feel used and manipulated. It’s unpleasant and we do not like it, for good reason. Jesus spoke about a way that we could take these offenses against us and transform them by His power.
Think of the case when Jesus told His disciples, “If a soldier tells you to carry his pack one mile, carry it a second mile.” Do you see what Jesus was doing in that situation? In Jesus’ time, Judea and Galilee were under Roman occupation. Roman soldiers had the right to ask a Jewish civilian to carry his pack. The soldier had the right to command that person to carry the pack, but only for one mile.
Let’s imagine that I’m a first century Jewish person, and I’ve been commanded to do so by a Roman who has swords and a spear and daggers and armor on. I certainly can’t mess with that guy. He throws his pack at my feet, and he says, “Carry it for a mile.” So, I take his pack and begin to count the steps. As soon as I had gone one mile, I would try not to go one meter or one foot beyond a mile. When I finished that mile, I would look that soldier in the eye, take that pack off, put it down at his feet, wipe my hands and say, “I’m finished. I’m done. I’m out of here.” In my flesh, that’s how I would respond.
But what did Jesus say? He said, “Take that pack a second mile, an extra mile.” That’s where we get the phrase, “going the extra mile.” Do you realize what Jesus was saying there? Jesus was telling us that when we are commanded out of manipulation to do something, we can take charge of the situation and say, “I’m not going to do this out of your oppressive manipulation. I’m going to do this out of service and love. I’m going to take control of this by giving you more than you have asked for, this time by my own choice, not because you’ve commanded me.”
There are situations where people are trying to manipulate us, oppress us, or get us to dance to their tune. Sometimes by being radical servants we can take control of the situation. Even better, we let God take control of the situation.
I don’t know how that applies to whatever scenario you specifically have in your mind but think of how to apply the principle of the extra mile to that situation. It really is a way to avert others who are trying to walk all over you.