What Are Some Signs That A Relationship Is God’s Will?

I was wondering if you could speak life into my situation. I’m in a relationship that’s been a little bit rocky, and I want to know if this is in God’s will. What should I look for? What would be signs for our relationship being God’s will?

I would suggest two things. Look for character and a sense of purpose and mission together in the relationship.

I assume that you’re attracted to this person to some degree. It’s important to also take a very sober look at their character. Beauty, physical attraction, bubbly personality, and all the rest of it are good things. I married a woman who’s exceptionally beautiful and has a wonderful personality. She’s very full of life. But even more than that, my wife is a woman of tremendous, deep integrity and character. This was true of her when I first met her, and it’s even truer of her today. Those are the kind of things that you really want to look for. Beauty can come and go. Sometimes difficult circumstances may affect a person’s bubbly personality. But a woman of good character, a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised (see Proverbs 31:30). I would advise you to take a very sober look at this person’s character. This goes for men and for women in considering a person to be their spouse.

Secondly, see if there’s a sense of vision and purpose for you to be together. This was very much true with the relationship with myself and my wife Inga-Lill. We couldn’t put it into these words at the time, but later on, we can now look back and say that if there was a theme verse for our marriage, lasting from before we were married into our early years of marriage, and even until today, it would be this line from Psalm 34:3, “Oh, magnify the Lord with me and let us exalt His name together.” That is what we have endeavored to do in our marriage.

Now, do that in a way which is appropriate to you and to this person who could be your potential spouse. I’ve been in vocational ministry for most of our married life and my wife has been supportive in it. The point is, no matter what you do for a living, to ask questions like, “Do we have a sense of purpose? Do we have a sense of mission?” That purpose and mission may be to parent some children and raise up a godly family. That sense of mission may be to have a business and serve our community with integrity. It could be any sort of mission and purpose but look for something more than “We like being together and she pleases me.” Is there some sense of mission or purpose that you have together? And please understand that doesn’t have to mean overseas missions or full-time ministry.

Again, look for character and a sense of purpose and mission together in the relationship.