Does Forgiveness And Unforgiveness Include Ourselves? Is Suicide An Example Of Unforgiveness-Of-Self?
The person I have the most struggle with forgiving is myself. Does forgiveness and unforgiveness include ourselves? Is suicide an example of unforgiveness-of-self?
I do understand the reality of the person who says that they struggle to forgive themselves. However, I don’t think they are identifying and explaining it properly, which can cause a significant issue. And I don’t want to be technical by assuming you’re not calling the problem by the right name.
For a person who is desperately grieved and feels like they can’t forgive themself, and contemplates self-harm because of that feeling, I believe what they’re really living under is an unbelievable sense of guilt and shame. This kind of guilt can shame can only be set free by receiving and trusting in the full gracious provision of Jesus Christ, not by forgiving yourself.
Consider the time when Jesus was preaching in a house, and the roof tiles came apart and a paralytic was lowered down in front of Him. The religious officials wondered if He was going to heal this man. Jesus knew what they were thinking, and He wanted to challenge them. Jesus said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven you,” and the religious rulers were immediately offended. And they should have been alarmed at that, and said “Who can forgive sins but God alone?”
They knew that only God can forgive sin. Only God has the power to forgive sin. Only God has the authority to ultimately forgive sin. Jesus didn’t disagree with their premise, either. He knew He was God had the power to forgive sin. He pronounced this man forgiven and also healed him as a demonstration of the power of God.
Here’s my point. I don’t think God gives us the power or authority to forgive our own sins. Maybe you’re really struggling with this, and saying, “I can’t forgive myself and it’s messing up my life.” I understand that you’re facing a real problem, but I encourage you to identify this problem accurately. Your real problem is that you can’t receive and believe the forgiveness that is freely offered to you in Jesus Christ. You need to believe the truth of 1 John 1:9 – “If we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
If you can really believe and receive that, it will be like a healing balm all over your soul. That’s what I want you to receive. If you are feeling very grieved, down, depressed, maybe even contemplating self-harm, and you feel like the problem is that you can’t forgive yourself, can I point you in a different direction? Put your focus upon Jesus Christ and the greatness of His sacrifice for you, and pray that you could receive and trust with all your heart the fact He has forgiven you. Remind yourself of that truth: “I put my trust in Jesus. He has forgiven me.” Say it as often as you need to be reminded of it. If you have to say it a thousand times in a day, say it thousand times in a day. Believe it and receive it, and allow this healing oil of God to flow over your life.